I just read an amazing post over at Joe My God, and it really got me thinking about a lot of things...
Mainly, I thought about being in High School in 1986, knowing that I liked men, and that just because of that, I probably had AIDS. As if the mere thought of touching another man was enough to contract HIV, I believed that homosexuality itself caused AIDS. We weren't taught about it in health class, and it was barely talked about. Because gay men were dropping like flies in San Francisco and NYC, everyone thought it was a gay disease. So there I was. A closeted, gay teen in Bum-Fuck Missouri with the fear of AIDS, going through the mind-fuck of my life.
I thought about all kinds of bullshit back then.
I thought about my distant cousin who was infected and why his fucking father abandoned him because of it. I thought about how lonely it must have been when Edwin was on his deathbed.
I thought about how the Red Cross could blow my cover because the blood drive came to school every year, and those who were 17 could give. I avoided it because, for me, donating meant admitting that I'd had sex with men, and also the possibility of finding out I had HIV.
Now I think about other kinds of bullshit.
I think about and wonder if kids in high school today have the kind of fear that I had...and secretly hope that they do.
I think about how we struggled and struggled to convince people that it wasn't a gay disease because of widespread infection in Africa...
I think about how everyone now knows that AIDS is not a gay disease, but ignorant, religious assholes still use it against the gay community...
I think about that struggle for a new definition, and then wonder why some people in the Black Community want to now declare it a 'black disease'...
I also think about how most people believe that AIDS is now a controllable disease even though millions of people are still dying...
Most of all, I think that we're all fucked.
Mainly, I thought about being in High School in 1986, knowing that I liked men, and that just because of that, I probably had AIDS. As if the mere thought of touching another man was enough to contract HIV, I believed that homosexuality itself caused AIDS. We weren't taught about it in health class, and it was barely talked about. Because gay men were dropping like flies in San Francisco and NYC, everyone thought it was a gay disease. So there I was. A closeted, gay teen in Bum-Fuck Missouri with the fear of AIDS, going through the mind-fuck of my life.
I thought about all kinds of bullshit back then.
I thought about my distant cousin who was infected and why his fucking father abandoned him because of it. I thought about how lonely it must have been when Edwin was on his deathbed.
I thought about how the Red Cross could blow my cover because the blood drive came to school every year, and those who were 17 could give. I avoided it because, for me, donating meant admitting that I'd had sex with men, and also the possibility of finding out I had HIV.
Now I think about other kinds of bullshit.
I think about and wonder if kids in high school today have the kind of fear that I had...and secretly hope that they do.
I think about how we struggled and struggled to convince people that it wasn't a gay disease because of widespread infection in Africa...
I think about how everyone now knows that AIDS is not a gay disease, but ignorant, religious assholes still use it against the gay community...
I think about that struggle for a new definition, and then wonder why some people in the Black Community want to now declare it a 'black disease'...
I also think about how most people believe that AIDS is now a controllable disease even though millions of people are still dying...
Most of all, I think that we're all fucked.